Isla Hinck's Lovely Website!

<html><style>body { background-image: url("http://islahinck.com/siteBG2.gif"); background-repeat: repeat; }</style>Welcome to the exciting website of Isla Hinck! [[Thanks.]] [[Who]]? (Click this for actual information.) Or you can just look at my <a href="https://ihinck.carrd.co" target="_blank">card</a> but where's the fun in that? <3 </body> </html>

You're welcome! How are you? [[I'm alright]]. [[I'm great]]! [[I'm terrible]]. [[I feel nothing]]. [[Broken page]]. Wait, [[Who]] is Isla Hinck again?

Isla Hinck is a film/game/music-maker and co-founder of [[Easy Allies]] who lives in Los Angeles. Isla is passionate about how art can make being a human better, her chosen mediums are video and music. Currently Isla is working on an album of original music, as well as some film projects. Also you can catch Isla's monthly film podcast <a href="https://reactionshots.carrd.co/#" target="_blank">Rection Shots here!</a> Isla believes it's good practice to <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/MediocreGif.gif" alt="make mediocre art with alarming frequency"> Isla likes to keep busy, making [[movies]], [[scripts]], [[shorts]], [[poems]], [[games]], [[musical enterprises]], [[full cast radio plays]], and [[other stuff]]. Isla has worked for clients such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD7nPL1U-R5qZnkEWnRuS8kPo3FnQx39b" target="_blank">Comedy Central</a>, and <a href="https://youtu.be/aik0vuQs9Qs?si=HDPSZzmGIqK7MQQ1" target="_blank">Logo</a>, and has edited such illustrious stars as <a href="https://youtu.be/unjbRVMaykA?si=5RBzvfCDpKZPd_Sn" target="_blank">Key and Peele</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/00LvTCyvydU?si=e_BkqwzC_ep6_cUN" target="_blank">Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/E7gwcWn4MDA?si=4MWD5x09mXbtywCD" target="_blank">Daisy Ridley</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/0VzI6DElUx4?si=PP36W_AVZIIVxco2" target="_blank">Chris Pine</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/vC0ySEvVnWk?si=K4cjKffVTKr-AZKY" target="_blank">Pedro Pascal</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/LcxjEFlyJLk?si=nHZLK98LTFePHRzP" target="_blank">Aubrey Plaza</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/hlFDfXXcktY?si=3rCPVlykoJC9ljhB" target="_blank">Kristen Stewart</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/j1FYt5sIa2k?si=BfG8_mGgZCudqxXP" target="_blank">Zachary Quinto</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/6vlJiBwP22s?si=JeQ0UGkKHncZLRSb" target="_blank">Eric Andre</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/BUkJJqP829U?si=LueU2llEIIXlQV-l" target="_blank">Hailee Steinfeld</a>, and more! Isla is known for projects like the kids show [[Seedlings]] and the surrealist loosely video games related show [[Easy Update]] with [[Easy Allies]]. Before that Isla worked at Gametrailers and did [[Mandatory Update]]. Isla is proud of the game show that she and Jason Wishnov made called <a href="https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwa6fmqvU-4HhtN-ahS4eSiRn3V3scRfg&si=lBgpxLSZ_SHOX7I1" target="_blank">Mysterious Monsters!</a> <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/MM_CuteStill.JPG" width="431" height="416" alt="on set for Mysterious Monsters"> Isla and artist <a href="https://twitter.com/Jeff_Delgado" target="_blank">Jeff Delgado</a> made a card game called <a href="https://www.thegamecrafter.com/games/swords-tgc-edition-" target="_blank">Swords</a> which you can buy now! <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ihinck" target="_blank">Follow Isla on instagram here!</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/IslaHinck" target="_blank">Tweet at Isla here.</a> You can still look at my <a href="https://ihinck.carrd.co" target="_blank">card</a>, it's actually quite nice. [[Thanks.]] Yeah, I mean, that's what Isla has done but WHO is Isla [[REALLY]]?

Seedlings is a narrative show appropriate for all ages set within the world of a video game! You can check it out <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SeedlingsShow" target="_blank">here!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Mandatory Update is a crazy video game news show sort of like SNL's Weekend Update. Elyse and I <a href="https://youtu.be/-WA_nQHZm9c?si=M25RN3zNgzoQwcem" target="_blank">have done a couple</a> in <a href="https://youtu.be/xpM8HI7KAMo?si=uSnQ3XIPsvw9VogX" target="_blank">the Easy Allies days</a> and the OG ones are over at <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLebTrVJAp3aizaeep8rwykJpNlStABy4M" target="_blank">this YouTube channel that seems to have archived GameTrailers' stuff!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Isla has made and loves to work on movies! Here's a <a href="https://vimeo.com/699257030" target="_blank">short film</a> she edited! Take an (embarrassing?) look back at a 60 minute thesis project from film school <a href="https://vimeo.com/16136305" target="_blank">here!</a> Here's a kinda cool <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wudcs-CzWg" target="_blank">Dark Wave Western Synth Musical!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Isla has written many scripts, including a queer as hell feature about body swapping, a feature western called The Father, a post apocalyptic loneliness fable called At Last, and an (as of yet unauthorized) adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov's Invitation to a Beheading! Isla and her writing partner Matthew Walden also have a few feature scripts on the cooker as well! Also there are many short films, monologues, scene studies, a few plays, and at least two half started novels! [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Isla has made a number of short films either as a director or an editor, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9UlmS4P-XY" target="_blank">Tender</a> (dir. Elric Kane, wr. Lee Ross) is a particular highlight, and the web-series <a href="http://hitmanning.com/" target="_blank">Hitmanning!</a> has its moments. O.o A few new short films are currently in the works! [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Isla writes poetry from time to time. [[Fictional Individual (Lyrics)]] [[That Kind of Person]] [[Pandora]] [[Siren]] [[Long Day]] [[Three Little Words]] [[Worst Day]] Uh...[[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Isla's always up to something. Here's a music video Isla did with <a href="http://cargocollective.com/teddydief" target="_blank">Teddy Dief</a> that you should check out <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et5I6Q1w_w8" target="_blank">right here!</a> And here's a <a href="https://youtu.be/mdfRbCnKpP8?si=88J4_qfyAOzAweb0" target="_blank">music video</a> Isla did with <a href="https://skytree.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">Skytree</a> and dancer David Elsewhere! [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Well that's something. Could be worse I suppose. Um, what did you do today? [[I just got back from the dentist]]. [[I looked at a graph]]. [[Nothing much]].

Good to hear! It makes me happy that you're doing so well! [[Thanks.]] [[I realize that clicking that will just send me where I already was]].

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that. [[It's ok]]. [[I was just kidding I'm actually alright]].

Well then you won't mind being sent [[here]] to the you-lose-the-site page! (if: $gift is 2)[Except wait, that was a lie wasn't it? You can feel the strangely warm thin gold wire in your hands can't you? [[I forgot about the thin gold wire]]! [[That is correct]], I do feel that.]

Pandora Faint whispers of times past Mingle with the ever louder echoes of recent pain Attempts in vain to hold at bay Cacophonous realms of possibility The endless avenues Of choice Of chance Of hope Of fear Enter in here and depart before bidden Ridding these frail thinkers of their agency And leaving only regret And wonder At what might have been Had different paths been chosen Different words spoken If the eyes had held in their pale frames Some other meaning More significant Or less Or none at all Had the call arrived moments sooner Footsteps quicker or slower Down the cracked tiles of those floors The noise is ceaseless now Choices long since passed Crashing like waves Irrelevant and yet so destructive Upon the waning facade of the sane mind Fragile visitors upon this Earth We sit and stare from our quiet booths At a world beyond controlling Beyond understanding As we marvel with endless fear At the silent uncaring continuation Of this universe [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or go back to [[poems]].

Siren Two sallow caricatures I saw while dozing on the damp grass near the river I had nearly made them out when the distant ringing of a police siren stirred me back to a more real reality it felt like I had risen up through fog or dry water and regained myself or reasserted myself as I had been taught to by years of experience and practice in this life I tried then to recall the figures one tall perhaps and lean the other intangible as if made of mist I realized then that they had seen me there laying on the cool ground and had smiled at me as if to say hello I feel now as if they were me or aspects therein drifting past for my observation fragments of the whole that frigid ground and languid river time and place inseparable inclusive of these two and myself mind and body the reeds the grass the dark trees [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or maybe there are other [[poems]] you're interested in.

Long Day It's the end of an endlessly long day And you're driving home through nightmare LA And Nils Frahm reaches a perfect fervor Right as a beautiful woman jogs past In what seems like slow motion And you almost start to cry Because you know you'll never be like her And the song has been building to this for nine minutes And your life for much longer And you feel like you have no one to turn to You wonder if it's the song making you think like this Or if you're somehow thinking the song Because it just fits so perfectly And you hope that it never ends But of course it does And you crest the hill shielding your eyes But the sun is lower than usual because you left late And it's later in the year And as you walk up to your apartment Something smashes on the ground next to you And you hear fighting on the second floor And you think I hope I've still got leftovers I can heat up [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or you can read some other [[poems]] if you want.

Isla has loved music for many years and has been in several bands such as Dr. Survivor and the At Seas, The Closers, and The Evening Redness. Isla also makes music independently, some of which can be heard <a href="https://soundcloud.com/isla-hinck" target="_blank">on Soundcloud</a> or <a href="https://islahinck.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">Bandcamp!</a> A new album is currently in the works and Isla is very excited about it! Isla also composed the music for <a href="https://youtu.be/9Wudcs-CzWg?si=jIA_QLHl88GpmL6i" target="_blank">a Western Horror Musical</a> (which she also wrote, directed, edited, and starred in lol.) Isla also used to make a song just about every week for her variety show Easy Update, resulting in <a href="https://youtu.be/I8z13Dewm-o?si=S6vwmfQ64ZFjUgsk" target="_blank">more than eighty songs!</a> (And <a href="https://youtu.be/I8z13Dewm-o?si=c0aqw9RoSUzwX7lw&t=144" target="_blank">some</a> of <a href="https://youtu.be/I8z13Dewm-o?si=BqF5POA3-tXdT7kB&t=1714" target="_blank">them</a> are <a href="https://youtu.be/I8z13Dewm-o?si=RdizG7NpLvOPXag7&t=4227" target="_blank">actually</a> <a href="https://youtu.be/I8z13Dewm-o?si=zWtmzwUeDRM8EkKV&t=2690" target="_blank">kinda</a> <a href="https://youtu.be/I8z13Dewm-o?si=ry6ha5clCNlrbH0M&t=7774" target="_blank">good</a>!) Also here's a video of Isla performing a cover of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUKB3cQgjsU&list=PLEwqVq_P2T7H0siv8gkA9JIWiib_Ed87r" target="_blank">A Kinks Song</a> and here's a video of an original song called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rc5BhuORuA&list=PLEwqVq_P2T7H0siv8gkA9JIWiib_Ed87r" target="_blank">Basement.</a> For many other musical creations check out [[Easy Update]]! <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/Screenshot 2023-11-11 164229.png" alt="fuck em"> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Who are any of us REALLY? [[Ha Ha]]. No but for real, tell me [[more]] about Isla Hinck!

For real. We're all just collections of atoms slamming into each other and rushing around worrying about things that wont matter a thousand years from now, or probably even a thousand seconds from now. So really, who are any of us? Who [[AREN'T]] any of us? People are right, Isla Hinck is really [[pretentious]].

Uh, ok. Well Isla was born in Des Moines Iowa, moved to St. Croix Falls Wisconsin at the age of 1, then moved to Chicago at 18 for college at DePaul University. Isla first studied Acting at The Theatre School at DePaul then moved to the Digital Cinema department due to, let's just say, fate. After that a bunch of stuff happened including various jobs, friends, loves found and lost, a move to LA, some car trouble... you know, standard awesome life stuff. Isla is a trans woman and a lesbian. You can watch her coming out video <a href="https://youtu.be/ffJ4Ezv7q84" target="_blank">here.</a> <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/2023images/Screenshot 2023-11-11 164134.png" alt="the most lesbian photo of all time??" height="562" width="536"> Pictured above is Isla in a Calvin Klein bra and cutoff jean shorts, holding a nail gun, in a tool belt and roller skates. This situation arose naturally, this was not a planned photoshoot. Big lesbian. (We did add the welding mask for the photo.) Isla likes dogs and doesn't like bugs. Isla likes trees and hates pollution. Isla likes being able to see the stars and doesn't like feeling lonely. Isla's favorite movie is The Princess Bride. Isla's favorite book is Blood Meridian. Isla thinks the best episode of Fringe is White Tulip. Isla likes Tom Waits. Isla knows you think Isla is a hipster. Isla is ok with that. Isla has to go to bed soon. Here's a picture of Isla Hinck by Joseph Adivari: <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/glam.jpg" alt="Who is she?" height="560" width="448"> [[Show me a sassier picture, that looks like a 90s album cover]]. [[Thanks.]]

Whoa. [[Totally]]. [[I know right]]?

Yeah. It's true. I don't deny it. My senior quote in High School was an [[entire Franz Kafka story]]. How's that for pretentious! Now you've dead-ended yourself right into the fabulous [[Courtesy Page]]!

Yeah. [[Nod]]. [[Stare off into the mid distance]].

For real. What was the [[point]] of this site again?

Yep. [[uh-huh]]. [[sniff]]. [[Stare off into the mid distance]].

You see the mid distance. It is not quite as far away as the distant distance, but not so near as the near distance. There is something about this distance that makes you feel [[insecure]] but it is also [[comforting]] somehow...

Oh, uh, this is the exciting website of filmmaker Isla Hinck, I guess... Want to go back to the [[Welcome]]? Or I guess you could go [[here]]...

There's nothing on this page. You lose. You've lost the website. There's no way out. It's all over. Give up now. For real. Nothing here. Nobody but us chickens. This [[button]] just goes to a page that's exactly the same as this one. I don't know. Don't look at me... You're the one that got us into this mess. But I love you.

This mid distance... there's something strange about it... something unsettling... Something a little too close... but not close enough... and also somehow far... And it smells of lilacs, but not in a good way, the lilacs are somehow rotten, sickly. These are not the lilacs that perfumed the back patio of your parents' house, nor are they the sweet lilacs that remind you of your grandmother. No, these lilacs are the lilacs of ill-repute. Lilacs long dead, bringing with them not joy but fear and loss. As you stand there, staring into this horrid mid distance you realize that your nose is bleeding. You smell the blood before you feel it running down your face. The smell of the blood mixes with these damned lilacs and you wish you could run, but your coward feet will not move. You are rooted to the earth like those damned lilacs. Just then a terrible thought comes to you. A thought so outlandish and strange that it seems to come not from your own mind but from the impossible mouth of cruel fate. You look down at your hands, what you expect to be your hands, and your insane thought is proved true! The lilacs you are smelling, those evil deathly lilacs, are YOU. You are no longer a human being, you are a rotten gnarled ancient growth of lilacs. And you are trapped. You can not move. You can not speak. You simply stand, smelling the wretched stink of your twisted self. Your sap blood coursing too slowly through your nightmare veins. Tragically your mind is no less sharp. You are free to think, and dream, and speculate for all eternity. Hoping for a brush fire, or a farmer, or the choking death of mankind's polluted air to suffocate you out of this terrible prison. But you have no idea if the death of the plant would also mean your own merciful death. If the plant dies would you go with it? Or would you simply dry out, turn to dust, become the earth, still screaming in your filthy mind until the end of unforgiving time. Hard to say. I guess you'll have to wait and see. [[Thanks.]]

The mid distance is the best kind of distance really. It's not so close as to be threatening but not so far as to be confusing. It's a comfortable distance. Free from the challenges of every day life. As you stare into this lovely distance you wonder what it would be like just to live there, to simply pack it all in and move to the mid distance. Just always be like forty to sixty feet from everything. Nothing could ever harm you. No one could ever get that good a look at you. You'd just be there. Hanging out in the mid distance. Being stared at by daydreamers and daytime actors and dime-store philosophers. Or do they stare PAST you? What would it be like, you wonder, to never really be seen again? To never be held? Understood? Loved? Part of you thinks it might be wonderful. A kind of freedom that no living person has ever experienced. But a larger, more rational part of you knows it would be a hell. A prison. You go to the mid distance anyway. Over time you realize your fears were correct, when you live in the mid distance you are always out of reach just as everything is out of YOUR reach. When someone stares at the mid distance you stare back, unable to close that gap, to make the connection, to open that refrigerator. All you want to do is get a glass of water or make a sandwich. Too bad! The fridge is forty to sixty feet away ALWAYS! You want to leave the mid distance. But how do you leave a place that is ALWAYS forty to sixty feet away from EVERY PLACE? You can't get anywhere when you're always forty feet from everywhere. This is a choice you've made and you can't unmake it. You can't walk backwards down this path. You crawled up onto the top bunk and your jerk cousin stole the ladder. You're stuck baby! Get used to it! But hey, at least you've got somewhere to stare. [[Thanks.]]

Well this is getting us nowhere. How about this. Just click on this and go back to the [[Welcome]]. Does that sound ok to you? Otherwise I guess you could go [[here]] but if you go there you sort of lose.

As you sniff you happen to smell turkey bacon wafting on the breeze. [[Go toward the turkey bacon]]. [[Go away from the turkey bacon]].

You go toward the turkey bacon but it turns out to not be turkey bacon but REGULAR BACON! You die. [[I died]]?

You go away from the turkey bacon and fall into a pit. It's very dark and you can't see anything. You think maybe there's something else in here with you. [[Light a match]] (you have a match with you.) [[Freak out]].

Yeah. You died. Happens to everyone sooner or later. Sorry. [[Courtesy Page]]

You light a match and see, cowering in the edge of the light, yourself. But you are dirty and much older. "Oh my god," the other you says. "It's me... oh no...." You're not sure what to make of this. You stare at yourself. "I've been here for years," the other you says. "There's no way out." You look around as the match flickers out and see what looks like strange white sticks on the ground, and several pairs of clothes that look exactly like the ones you are currently wearing. The match burns your fingers and you drop it quickly and put your aching fingers to your lips. There is a long silent pause. Then you hear movement. "There isn't any food down here either," the other you says. "I have to do what I have to do to stay alive." You aren't sure what you mean at first, then you realize that the white sticks were bones just as you feel other you's teeth sink into your neck and you die. For what its worth the other you is still alive. If you could call that living. [[Thanks.]]

You freak out. Accomplishing nothing and something in the dark kills and eats you. [[Thanks.]]

This is the Courtesy Page. I hope you are doing well. Here's Isla's <a href="https://twitter.com/islahinck" target="_blank">Twitter.</a> You can still look at my <a href="https://ihinck.carrd.co" target="_blank">card</a>, it's really quite nice. Uh, that's it pretty much. [[Welcome]] This site was made with <a href="http://twinery.org/" target="_blank">Twine</a>! Copyright Isla Hinck. Thanks for visiting! <3 (if: $gift is 1)[WHOA! Hang on there! There's a loose nail here! [[Use the rusted hammer]]. ]

Oh? How'd you fare? [[My teeth are perfect]]! [[I had a cavity]].

That's exciting. [[Yep]].

Congrats! Probably because you floss. [[Probably]]. [[I don't floss]].

You should floss. [[Yep]].

Yep. [[Totally]]

Well then I have no idea. They say flossing is the most important thing. Besides brushing I guess. Anyway teeth are important and it's good to take care of them. [[I agree]]. [[There are other more important things]].

Nice. [[Yep]].

Like what? [[Good diet]]. [[Having fun]].

Sure thing. [[Totally]].

I guess. I don't really care about food all that much. I like chicken kabobs though. Do you like chicken kabobs? [[Yes]]. [[No]].

Hard to have fun if you don't have any teeth though. [[Good point]]. [[It's possible]].

You are smart. Congratulations! You win this website (though you should start flossing.) Start over at the [[Welcome]] page. Or visit the very exciting [[Courtesy Page]]! Thanks for visiting Islahinck.com!! Tell your friends!

Oh, you don't like chicken kabobs? That's ok. Oh, [[here]] I found this nice page for you!

Then we agree. [[Yep]].

Now you're just being difficult. [[Sorry]]. [[I don't like you]].

It's ok. I forgive you. [[Thanks]].

Probably wise. Hey, go [[here]].

True. [[I also noticed that in that page link the . is inside the link but on most of the other ones it is outside of the link]].

That's true. I realized that too late and didn't feel like changing it. [[That's ok, I forgive you]]. [[You're lazy]].

[[Thanks.]] Oh! Almost got me with that thanks, but [[I realize that clicking that will just send me where I already was]]!

Sometimes. [[Courtesy Page]]

:( [[:(]] Perhaps this, probably out of date by now, 10% off on [[PSN]] code would help?

Well that's good to hear! I was just kidding again [[I'm terrible]]. [[Thanks.]] You really made me feel [[Welcome]] at your website.

:( [[:(]] [[Yeah]].

Well. I hope you feel better. [[Yep]].

That's weirdly specific but ok: <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/sass2.jpg" alt="sass for days" height="560" width="448"> Photo credit: Joseph Adivari! [[Nice, show me another picture please]]. [[Thanks.]]

Ok, but last one. This one is also by Joseph Adivari. <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/oolala.jpg" alt="I like this dress, but it takes guts I might not have lol." height="560" width="448"> [[Happy now]]? [[Thanks.]]

No? What would make you happy? [[A picture of Isla laughing with five dear friends]]. [[Nothing would make me happy]].

Oh, well then you're in luck! <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/laughing.jpg" alt="My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return." height="540" width="960"> I love this picture so much. Obviously I was still presenting as male then, but even when I see old pictures of myself I still see myself. And this is just such joy with my lifelong friends! But if you want another girly glam one [[check this one out!]] [[Thanks.]]

I'm sorry to hear that. [[Yep]].

Here's the code. I'm sure it doesn't work anymore if it's after 1-25-15. But who knows! And it's the American code. KF56EM5KB3 [[Thanks.]]

A Little Fable by Franz Kafka "Alas," said the mouse, "the whole world is growing smaller every day. At the beginning it was so big that I was afraid, I kept running and running, and I was glad when I saw walls far away to the right and left, but these long walls have narrowed so quickly that I am in the last chamber already, and there in the corner stands the trap that I must run into." "You only need to change your direction," said the cat, and ate it up.

{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Wait. Who let you in here? [[No one]]. [[I let myself in here]]. [[π]]

{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Oh good. Well then, this must all just be some misunderstanding. You can leave now. [[Thanks.]]

{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Aren't you industrious? I mean, it was the same as the rest of the site, just [[random]] links leading to random places.

{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>(set: $password to (prompt:"enter password")) (if: $password is not "BER5348833")[Incorrect password.] (if: $password is "BER5348833")[ Enter [[The Net]] ]

{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Yes, but the background of these pages is kind of red... so that's exciting right? [[Very]]. [[Not really]].

{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>I agree. It's fun to stir things up sometimes. You know, as long as you don't go too far with it, as long as nobody gets hurt. [[Yep]].

{<html><style> body {background-color: #5858FA;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Oh, well how's about this sort of purpley blue? You like that better? It makes it hard to see the links! A challenge! Exciting! [[I do]]. No, [[I don't like blue]].

{<html><style> body {background-color: #5858FA;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Ok good. I am glad. Happy we could work that out. Uh. It's kind of a dead end here so how about I just put some links to other passages at random and you can go wherever you want. Sound nice? Ok cool [[No]] [[A picture of Isla laughing with five dear friends]] [[I know right]] [[sniff]] [[Nod]] [[poems]] [[My teeth are perfect]]

{<html><style> body {background-color: #5858FA;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>What? You don't like blue? Who doesn't like blue. It's one of the basic colors. Well, that's ok, different strokes for different folks as they say. I like blue. I like a darker blue than this though if I'm honest. But people are so rarely honest, you know what I mean? Sometimes it gets so I can't even tell if I'm being totally truthful myself. How can people trust each other when trusting oneself is so hard? Anyways, long story short blue is great and you're a sillypants. I'm sorry about that sillypants thing. It's ok if you don't like blue. I'm sure you've got your reasons. I used to really like orange but then I had a boss who was a real pile of garbage and he loved orange. Everything he had was orange. And now I associate orange with him. So it ruined this interesting color for me. But I'm getting over it. One day at a time. If I'm honest now again I'm sort of losing steam on this thread here and I've got to leave for a haircut. So I'm just going to send you back to the [[Welcome]] page.

Yes, that was a reference to the movie The Net starring Sandra Bullock. That movie is hilarious and not really all that good. Anyway, you busted into a [[secret]] part of the website!! Wooo! It really bothers me that most of the best stuff on the site is down the "I don't floss" path. It kills me to reward people for not flossing, but sometimes we don't get what we want, even from ourselves, on our own websites, when we could just fix it pretty easily, but we don't. That's life. Seriously, flossing is REALLY important though. Please floss. It's gross not to floss. Thank you for visiting the secret area! I love that you found your way in here, did you find the password on the site, or did you look at the source code? Or did you watch the movie The Net?? That movie is absurd. Here's my favorite zen story: From Zen Flesh Zen Bones: A Parable Buddha told a parable in a sutra: A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

This page is here to let you escape the secret area of the website. Keep that area a secret. But if you mention it to me on twitter I'd be interested to know that you made it in! [[Welcome]] [[Courtesy Page]]

See You in Fahlstaff is a full cast anthology "radio play" podcast! You can hear it <a href="http://www.fahlstaff.com" target="_blank">here</a>. [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Isla is.

Three Little Words Three little words Once spoken change everything An entire life thrown into question Every choice Every chance With three words Never to be the same Three little words That can't be taken back Or thrown aside Forgotten Ignored They echo through the ears Like a gunshot Or a scream Three little words Spoken through tears Or disbelief Followed by a pause And horrid explanations Three little words Just three That's all it takes Three little words... "We lost her." [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or go back to [[poems]].

Worst Day What if today is not the worst day of your life? [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or go back to [[poems]]. Or, because this poem is a real downer, accept a [[special gift]].

You see on the ground in front of you a [[rusted hammer]] and a [[thin piece of gold wire]]. Common courtesy would suggest it would only be right to take one or the other.

(set: $gift to 1) You take the rusted hammer in your hand, immediately you notice that your hand how has gross orange rust dust all over it. [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] page.

(set: $gift to 2) You take the thin piece of gold wire in your hands, it is strangely warm to the touch. [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] page.

Interesting. Interesting. [[Follow me]].

A strange mental representation of your idea of Isla (since this is all just an imaginary text adventure) takes you by your hand (if you're comfortable with that) and leads you down a strange curved hallway (the sort of curve that's really gradual and you don't notice it right away), the hand in yours (again only if you were comfortable with that, if you're not just ignore this part (even though it's pretty important to the story)) is icy cold, as though Isla were dead (or perhaps a non living digital representation of a person (perhaps like something that one might imaging after being told about something like that in a text adventure website)). Isla turns to you and says "I'm taking you to the [[Land of Parentheses]]! A terrible and confusing place where nearly every sentence (especially important ones like this) are interrupted by confusing parenthetical statements!"

You find yourself (in very short order) in a giant room (perhaps the size of fifteen of the largest airplane hangars you can imagine stacked every which way on top of each other (but in an orderly fashion)) and in this room (this giant, giant room) you find it very difficult to simply think (every person's unassailable right as a human being) without the thoughts (those cherished bastions of precious selfdom) being overtaken (almost violently) by a cascade of tangential (pointless even) extraneous thoughts! Not only that (as if that weren't enough) you can feel the thoughts (those beauteous babies of the magnificent mortal mind) of other people (those hideous interlopers into our lives) worming their way (like worms!) into your head (the only place (one would think) that other people's thoughts (in such a direct fashion at least) shouldn't be able to venture (or intrude!))! Visually (as with the eyes) the giant (really really giant) room is a blinding (so very very bright) white (as if every surface were backlit by a thousand pure white bulbs (as bright white as paper (or snow (or a light bulb)))), as though hearing (perhaps literally) your very thoughts (those secret most intimate of initmates!) you hear (more like are crashed into by) several of Isla's thoughts (remember Isla, Isla's the one that got you into this mess!) "I wonder how many typing (or spelling) errors I've made (on this site)! My god (used generally just because it sounds good (adds a certain punch to things) not because Isla believes in a god (necessarily (man, now there's a hard word to spell correctly!))) it's bright (like the sun (or a promising youth (no not that kind of bright)) or a bunch of light bulbs) in here (aquí)! Why did I (The pronoun I /aɪ/ is the first-person singular nominative case personal pronoun in Modern English. It is used to refer to one's self and is capitalized, although other pronouns, such as he or she, are not capitalized. The grammatical variants of I are me, my, mine, and myself. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_(pronoun))) bring us here again!?" You're not sure (not the deodorant). "Think simple (easy (plain (uncomplicated))) thoughts (those indelible and yet transient gifts of consciousness! (Filigree on the dresser drawers of life!))!" Isla (that bastard) thinks at you. "Use wire (a drawn out strand of metal) on (so as to be supported or held by) that circuit board!" Isla (that devilish trickster) thinks at you (that beautiful person). You (that marvel (that treasure (that wonder!)!)!) look (as to see) to your right (your wonderful right) and there is a circuit board there. Immediately you thrust (quickly) the wire (the thin gold one from before (you remember)) at the circuit board (rather haphazardly if we're honest.) Smoke and sparks fly in every direction from the [[circuit board]]!

You feel a strange intangible movement, at great speed, and find yourself out of the Land of Parentheses! "Sorry about that!" Isla says and vanishes. (It turns out the cold hands didn't matter to the story after all.) You stand there dumbfounded for a hot second. Then you click one of these things. [[Thanks.]] [[Welcome]] [[Courtesy Page]] [[Who]]

(set: $gift to 0)You hammer in the loose nail. You finish the job but the hammer sort of disintegrates afterwards. It was really rusted. Your hands are super gross and covered in rust now. [[Wash hands]] in the sink.

What? There aren't any sinks here! What do you think this is? The Ritz Carlton!? Get outta here, go back to the [[Courtesy Page]] or something.

For any contact please tweet at Isla using @IslaHinck. [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] page.

Easy Update is a show wherein Isla does whatever she wants. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwa6fmqvU-4GuRsrhUFwqHc0Vpt0lreWR" target="_blank">Check it out!</a> [[Go back->Who]].

Easy Allies is a video games entertainment group of which Isla is a co-founder! Formed of prior Gametrailers employees Easy Allies is a fan funded jolly fest all about loving games and having a good time! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/easyallies" target="_blank">Easy Allies Patreon.</a> <a href="http://www.easyallies.com" target="_blank">Easy Allies Website.</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/easyallies" target="_blank">Easy Allies YouTube.</a> [[Go back->Who]]

A graph of a city: +----------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | Graph of a city. | | | | | | | | +----+ +----+ +----+ [[+]]----+ +----+ +----+ +----+ +----+ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +---+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+---+

The formatting on that "graph" got pretty crazy when it was pasted into Twine from Asciiflow huh? That's cool. Sometimes life gives us unexpected little surprises like that. Here's a Dark Wave Synth Pop song I made that I'll probably use in something soon. <iframe src="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3LlHTBbGu1hcS01cE1ZRWhuRTA/preview" width="640" height="480"></iframe> Another surprise! [[Thanks.]]

<html><style>body { background-image: url("http://www.islahinck.com/brokenletters.gif"); background-repeat: repeat; }</style>This page is broken. Clearly. [[Thanks.]] [[Click here to fix page]]. </body> </html>

<html><style>body { background-image: url("http://www.islahinck.com/X.gif"); background-repeat: repeat; }</style>It's gotten worse. [[House or Chance]]? </body> </html>

Let's play House or Chance! <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/hoc/dr-house-wallpaper-6.jpg"> [[House]] [[Chance]]

CORRECT! <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/hoc/6-hugh-laurie-chance.w1200.h630.jpg"> [[House->House2]] [[Chance->Chance2]]

NO! WRONG! [[Start over!->House or Chance]]

CORRECT! <img src="http://www.islahinck.com/hoc/hugh_laurie_-_chance_premiere_-_h_-_2016_0.jpg"> [[House->House3]] [[Chance->Chance3]]

NO! WRONG! [[Start over!->House or Chance]]

OOO CLOSE! THAT'S ACTOR HUGH LAURIE AT THE CHANCE PREMIERE. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME. Pro tip, every time you try this game it will be the same. [[Let's go to a page where the background is black and the text is black so it's hard to tell where to click!]]

<html><style>body { background-image: url("http://www.islahinck.com/fadetoblack.gif"); background-repeat: repeat; }</style>Gotcha! The background is white so it's no... wait... wait a minute.... I'm not doing that.... Hang on.... Wait a second..... Hey! Quick!! Even though I'm sure it's just a gif and will loop pretty soon regardless! Hold up! Wait! Seriously! This isn't supposed to happen. Oh well.... [[Click this thing that's blue anyways so the page turning black doesn't matter!]] </body> </html>

My [[b]]ack hurts, additions to site over. [[Thanks.]]

<img src="http://www.islahinck.com/glam2.jpg" alt="I like this dress, but it takes guts I might not have lol." height="560" width="448"> This photo is by, you gue[[s]]sed it, Joseph Adivari! [[Thanks.]]

{<style> body {background-image: url("http://www.islahinck.com/bwbg.jpg"); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: fixed; background-color: #000000; background-position: center;} </style> (colour:white)[Whoa hey! This photo by Joseph Adivari has gotten way out of control and is all big and in the background! How'd that happen? I'll tell you how it happened! I had the idea for this page and I copied the HTML I figured out for the games page onto the passage in Twine for this page and then typed all this into it! That's how that went down. This white text is kinda hard to read on here huh? That's a shame. There's a secret page on this website somewhere else, did you know? [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page.]

This shirt makes me laugh every time. <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/IslaHinckWhoDrinkArnorlPalmer.JPG" alt="sass for days"> [[Nice, more pics please]]. [[Thanks.]]

Ok fine here's just a bunch of pictures! <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/IslaPark.jpg" alt="in a park"> <br> <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/LolIslaWhat.PNG" alt="lol"> <br> <img src="https://islahinck.com/2023images/ZoomCute.JPG" alt="felt cute"> [[Nice, show me another sassy picture in a green dress]]. [[Thanks.]]

I wonder if what I consider happiness is just nostalgia? Is the feeling I think I'm missing with my partners just how it felt to be a child Safe and care free until the nightmare of puberty stole that from me forever? The warmth of the sun coming through the frozen windows drawing lines of heat on the basement carpet The fireplace and the smell of my mother The stack of CDs on eternal rotation through the little stereos we'd run nonstop until they broke Is what I'm missing Myself Before I thought about myself Is that how I've assumed love feels? Life before I started running and building defenses against the chemicals and thoughts and feelings I couldn't control Before the Lost Sleep Before my chest became a bear trap or a thumbscrew fashioned for a heart Is the love I long for impossible because I decided when I was thirteen I just wasn't That Kind Of Person? My love is sunshine on the carpet. Warm plastic fibers made to look like something else. Something natural. Something real. Torn up in 1996. In a house we don't own anymore. [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or go back to [[poems]].

I was born With the Name of my pain So I killed it But not before It taught me To be pretend That my life Is a mid budget film With an obvious end I named myself A cure But the coping Still remains I named myself A cure My parents Never knew my name I'm a Fictional individual Its safer that way If nothing's real Then Nothing can go away The fear is focused Differently now Though the reel stays the same The threat is coming outside in And my shield Is my name You say that you Don't hate me But you think That I'm insane The venom Dripping from your lips In the form Of my dead name I'm a Fictional individual I'm a number on the news I'm a warning in a sermon A statistic you can use I'm a sideways glance I'm a stolen dance I'm an object I'm an image I'm a thing for you to ban I'm a place to put your hands I'm a joke I'm a villain I'm a secret you can hide I'm a "choice" for you to chide But I didn't decide I didn't decide I didn't decide I didn't decide [[Thanks.]] Return to the [[Who]] is Isla page. Or go back to [[poems]].